Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Non-verbal communication


The more we practice paying attention to the details of their communication with others, the more we begin to notice how much is actually missing - so tiny messages transmitted subtle non-verbal communication, tone of voice or choice of words, because the other person does not dare to express them directly or not itself is not aware of, and that would certainly improve the relationship if they were observed and clarified. 


Usually these are not the elements that will significantly reduce the quality of communication, which is one reason why they do not recognize - but the other reason is that often we do not have any experience on how to jump and improve relationships can be to learn to pay attention.

In many situations we do not follow enough has been said to be beset by or answering the right question at the right time. Everyone has a different experience of resolved and unresolved arguments, or opinions of other people subsequently and indirectly ... Sometimes important things can be explained and misunderstandings avoided if we recognize the problem, and correctly translate the words of another person, or find the right words to explain our position, but, as with many other truly important aspects of life we ​​rarely take the time to afford it.

I have the impression that many people in situations where they are not sure what to say, trying to think of a quick response through rationally learned ideas, empty of humor or provocation, or simply avoid or refrain from confrontation. It's quite another thing when in such situations, listen to your body and feels that it's sending. Listening to the feelings of you, prevevši it in words, identify the problem and find the right response. One must practice, because in the course of communication our focus is directed towards the outside and it is much harder to notice subtle psychosomatic reactions.

Often people say they know there is no point in controlling it, but they want to relax and be spontaneous. The conflict between spontaneity and the effort to communicate better quality common as soon as we invest time and energy in that direction.
In my experience, it's easy for most people to notice, that the 'spontaneous' and automatic reactions, those answers and behaviors that emerge from us before we think about it, almost before we even notice, often learned defensive coping mechanisms, or ways expression learned from the environment, rather than a genuine and honest reactions that really express who we are. It is important to learn not to react automatically. We need to give yourself time to feel what is the right answer our feelings ... Provided that we have learned to be honest with yourself.

In a way, as if afraid to take the majority of the time and not answer immediately, as we have learned to expect that the other person will use that time to 'outperform' and 'defeat' in communication. The reality is quite the opposite: not only in many situations, the other person does not have any need for it, rather than getting yourself time, sending him a message on several levels: one of them is that we care about the outcome of the communication and to carefully think about what he said and what we say, and the second is that we are aware, present and reacting with genuine feelings (which automatically means an attitude of self-esteem). Moreover, in many situations where the other person is communicating inappropriately, the time that the answer often prompts her to reflect on her own behavior.

Nonverbal communication carries the most important message: not only aware of, and expressed thoughts and feelings, but even the unconscious ones. No need to avoid the trap and-white judgment and believing that a specific movement or gesture means exactly what we ascribe to him. Many eager observers of nonverbal communication might annoy you, convincing you that you are thinking what they think you think, try not to become one of them.

Every gesture and mime change is necessary to compare with all the other elements of nonverbal and verbal communication, rather than being interpreted separately. Also, the elements of the situation may affect the person's feelings, as well as random thoughts, memories and associations, and also the embarrassment if a person is aware that everything I watch (the discomfort that will increase manifold hasty interpretation!), Similar to a lie detector innocent suspects can be further upset by false if in fear of being misunderstood and wrongly accused. I recommend, as with many other aspects of life, that the interpretation of non-verbal communication others prefer to let their feelings and overall impression, rather than a conscious and rational analysis.

If you consciously try to control their nonverbal speech to send the message that you do not feel real, it is usually unsuccessful, except for the extremely skilled actors. The nature of nonverbal communication is honest expression, and if we manage to control some parts of the body, others will send the right message. What we need to do - for our own sake even more than for results - that in itself develop true feelings that we want to convey non-verbal speech.

Any communication with the other person, all she say and how we say it, affect its relationship with us and further communication - ie. how much on a separate occasion they have the confidence to open up to us. It's easy to run into 'spiritual realms' - everyday communication is where true spirituality begins.

We often say something like "I did everything I could ... I no longer know how to talk to that person! 'But is that really true? Is there maybe something else that we can say or do ... but we have the will, courage or humility? Maybe even a lot of things? Often, 'all we could do' in reality means' all we could do without risking too much or compromising their ego. "

Similarly as in relation to themselves, and in their relationships with others takes time and perseverance to rehearse a full presence in the moment, a profound awareness of and sensitivity to all that is happening within us and within us. It is even more difficult to learn to communicate their thoughts in an honest and compassionate manner. But once you learn it, our relationships - what's most important to quality of life - have a chance to flourish.
Copyright Kosjenka Muk, 2006


Communication is one of the basic needs of human existence, and can be defined as the transmission or exchange of information between the sender wants to communicate a message and a recipient whose task is to decode it. One of the basic conditions that enable social interaction is the ability to communicate.
Verbal communication refers to the actual words used in the conversation. It is believed that the main function of language reporting on ideas, events and things that are not immediately present.Nonverbal communication is the interpersonal behavior of all the spoken words.
Whether it is verbal or non-verbal, communication takes place using the characters. The signs are, with some conditions, whatever it is, if the receiver of the message have some meaning, and decoded into "meaning." It is clear that the characteristics of the recipient, as well as the social context, determine the meaning that he will be given a received character.

But when it comes to non-verbal behavior, the signs are social norms that are implied. Intention and consciousness of the person who conveys the necessary preconditions are not, as is often non-verbally convey and what we do not want, or do not intend to reveal about themselves.
Some of our mechanical actions and provide the type of information to which neither we nor those around us are not aware warned. We perform an action, and it is perceived. Its meaning has been read, but not to vote. When "airing mood" becomes conscious, it can be controlled.

Non-verbal communication performs three functions. One part of our non-verbal behavior directed regulation of the mechanism of social interaction, the second part is related to the expression of opinions, and the third is related to the expression of emotional states.
Feeling and expressing emotions is an integral part of life. Emotions are related to human behavior. If you're not sure how you feel, but you realize that you behave in a way that sends a clear message, from your behavior, you can understand how you feel. For example, if you talk to someone while you have a friend and an angry look on his face, it can not because you are angry or dissatisfied with this person without being aware of it.
Much of the nonverbal communication crosses all international and linguistic boundaries, but some parts are different in different cultures. In any case, the hidden language complements the spoken word in ways that are only recently beginning to understand better.
People who good command of nonverbal communication probably work more effectively in an intercultural arena, because we communicate nonverbally quickly gives what we need to determine - whether the other person has confidence in us, is us, and we tend to be optimistic about the outcome of the meeting. All this happens without a single spoken word.

The main channels of nonverbal communication are visual (seeing, eye contact and view), facial expressions, body language (contact, posture, gestures, nod), personal space, and show yourself parajezik. The most important aspect of nonverbal behavior is considered a visual interaction, where the vision is more important than seeing the eye contact because it provides access to many non-verbal signs.
The man most of his time is spent in communication with other people. The man in the interaction, face to face, mainly focusing on his words, and forgetting that at the same time his movements, attitudes and facial expressions tell a story.

Non-verbal communication consists of a multitude of characters, each with its own meaning. We communicate daily with these characters and "read" them with other people, and they do not even realize it. In most cases we do not know the typical movements and facial expressions.
Many gestures absorbed from the social environment in which we live, and they are in our lives strongly modify the unconscious stimulating the social customs. I have an innate expressions often drastically modified by social pressures. Human passion exercise movement is such that in the past have tried to learn "speaker gestures" despite the fact that a small number of people in need of such instruction.

At each interaction emotional send out signals, and these signals affect the people around us. What we are socially more appropriate, to better monitor the signals that are sent to. Until such transfer is due to unconscious imitation of emotions that we see in some other, using unwitting motor mimicry, their facial expressions, gestures, tone, and other nonverbal expressions of emotion.

Most of the data from the non-verbal communication is decrypted in the limbic system, the early preverbal part of the brain that controls emotions and that is beyond our conscious control. An example is a strong communicator subconscious iris. When something attracts our interest, the iris expands. These changes can hardly be measured, but the effect can be dramatic, as this other people look more attractive.

Non-verbal communication is much more important and complex aspect of interpersonal interaction than they appear at first glance can do.


Non-verbal communication

Like other species, we are ruled by biological rules that control our actions, reactions, body language, gestures. People are rarely aware of your posture, movements and gestures can tell the story of a very different man from the one spoken in their own voice.
From the professional point of view, whenever a call ¨ ¨ perceptive or intuitive ¨ ¨ person, we think of his or her ability to detect the expression of meaning gestures of another person and compare them with what signal words. Or else, when we say that we have a hunch ¨ ¨ ¨ or ¨ feeling in my stomach that someone has lied to us, in fact we find that his body language and spoken words do not match.

Women usually has a better ability to perceive than men, and this fact led to one of the famous thesis on female intuition ¨ ¨. Women have an innate ability to collect and decipher the unspoken signals, as they have a very strong sense of detail. Consequently, very few men and women staff agree to live with it, and vice versa, most women are able to pull a man's hat on his eyes and that he was not aware of that.

This female intuition is especially pronounced in women who have just given birth. During the first years of the mother relies exclusively on movements in the communication link with their child, and it is believed that this is why women often have a more developed ability to perceive than men.

Are still being researched and debated in order to reveal the movements of the signals are inborn, learned, genetically transferred or acquired in some other way. Conducted a study in which they observed the blind and / or deaf people who could not learn by listening to signals from movements or watching. Studies have shown that the expression of laughter in children who are born deaf or blind occur independently of whether taught or simulated. Research has supported some of Darwin's original beliefs about inborn gestures when they studied the facial expressions of people from five mutually very distant cultures. They found that each culture uses the same basic facial expressions to show feeling, which led them to conclude that it is undoubtedly an innate gestures.

Much of our basic movements is learned behavior, such as the meaning of many gestures of a specific culture to which we belong. Most of the basic communication gestures are the same all over the world. People laugh when they are happy, frowning stare or scowl when they are sad or angry.Nodding almost everywhere means that ¨ ¨ or agree with something. It is an inborn nod your head that is probably innate movement, because it serves the deaf and blind people. Swinging its head from side to side indicates ¨ ¨ ne and that is a sign of disagreement also equal everywhere, and the movement can be learned in childhood. When a child turns to the side and does not accept the mother's breast.

The evolutionary origin of some movements can establish deep in our primitive past. Gnashing of teeth comes from the act of assault, and modern man is so ridicules or shows their enemy though, of course, one does not intend to attack the teeth. Laughter is initially represented a threat, and a smile today expressed satisfaction and pleasure. Shrug is also a good example that shows the movements generally accepted that a person does not know or understand what is being said. It is a complex movement in three parts: exposed palms, elevated and retracted his shoulders and raised his eyebrows.

Just as spoken language varies from one culture to another, so it is with the express movement. In a culture of individual gesture is common to all, while the second may seem meaningless or, in turn, have a completely different meaning.

For example:

Sign round toes (¨ ¨ OK) gesture - meaning ¨ ¨ OK is widespread in all English-speaking countries, but though its meaning is rapidly spreading through Europe and Asia, some countries have different meaning and origin. In France, for example, means ¨ ¨ zero ¨ or ¨ nothing in Japan may mean ¨ ¨ money.

The movement of the thumb raised - the UK, Australia and New Zealand thumbs-up has three meanings. It is generally recognized in that hitchhiker, then typically a sign confirming that everything was all right, but when it suddenly twitches his thumb up, then we get the meaning ¨ There you go! ¨ or ¨ ¨ fall victim. In some countries, such as Greece, the main thing is full of meaning ¨ ¨ my hat.

V-sign - this is a sign widely accepted in Australia, New Zealand and the UK and usually implies ¨ Here! ¨. Winston Churchill popularized the V sign of victory in the second. World War II, but he was the one sign with two fingers did palm forward. Palm facing the speaker, however, the sign is an obscene insult. In many parts of Europe V sign with the palm inwards, it is still a sign of victory ¨ ¨.

These examples show that misinterpretations of movements in different cultures have unpleasant consequences, and that, before any conclusion about someone's body language, it is useful to detect the region where the culture is such a person. 

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