Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Self-esteem and self-confidence


Faking confidence can fool only rarely and briefly, because the environment of fear smells hormones
Self-confidence and self-esteem. How many times have we said that these feelings are very important to our mental well-being, how many times have given us specific advice in the event that we are humbled. A tip is something like this: "Do you have low self-confidence and self-esteem, that you are not well. Therefore, have higher self-confidence and self-esteem." 


Some go a step further and recommend meditation, yoga, autosugestiju, sports, martial arts, more sex, less sex, additional training, dress in the latest fashion or achieve life success. For instance, you get great life achievements, will increase confidence and self-esteem. A wise and very easily applied advice.
However, neither the self-confidence and self-esteem can be obtained at will, or would be good for everyone to always be confident. Some of the worst people in the world had a very high confidence, which helped to make some of the biggest costs in history. However, chronically low self-esteem is usually an integral part of depression or anxiety, mood disorders, which can be removed only by the treatment, and not a mere decision.

The issue of stress

Self-confidence or self-esteem is a feeling of pleasant ability to achieve goals, and self-esteem is a pleasant feeling of high quality and personal values. These feelings may coincide with reality, but also out of step with her. Incompetent and evil individual can have extremely high self-confidence and self-esteem, either because of low intelligence that prevents him to recognize his qualities, or because of a strong nervous system that protects against unpleasant feelings.
The sturdy and resistant to stress the nervous system favors
high opinion of themselves, regardless of actual ability. Thus, many people are very poor quality and very self-confident and ready to tackle the most difficult tasks that will make or break or damage to someone else.
The nervous system is vulnerable and resistant to stress favors low self-evaluation, again regardless of their actual ability. Thus, the quality and capable person who is suffering from depression or anxiety usually be low self-esteem and are more likely to hesitate to give than to action.
Issues of self-confidence and self-esteem is very relevant in the field of love and sexual relations.People with difficulties in attracting and satisfying partners most of the environment, but also by the therapist, hear useless and senseless remarks: "You suffer from sniženog confidence and insecurity. Be confident and secure. Love yourself." A psychiatrist or psychologist who treated this way the patient should submit a license, as mentioned comments combine ignorance, arrogance and careless treatment. It is not allowed to be treated equally patient who really has the appeal of a low, low libido and potency, and reduced patient who is sexually unattractive or incompetent, but it depression or anxiety interfere with their love and sex life.
The first patient has low self-confidence and self-esteem precisely because they correctly recognize their sexual undesirability and incompetence, and he knows that it will again suffer rejection, insult or ridicule. His problem is not conceited, but grounded in reality. Advise the patient to "become more confident" is meaningless, because no sane and aware can not believe I can achieve what I know he is - can not be achieved. Faking confidence rarely is effective, because the environment is able to expose the simulation by small gestures that are not inherent in self-esteem and fear sniffing hormones whose molecules secreted by the body in the form of pheromone. After all, if someone managed to fake confidence, and so deceive someone that can give him sexual pleasure, will fall at the first examination. Such persons is quite justified to recommend correction of aesthetic shortcomings and try to treat their decreased libido and potency. Certainly, they need to treat depression or anxiety of whom suffer from dealing with sexual and social rejection.

In the second case, it is the patient who is not unattractive and soon had a healthy libido and potency, and now suffers from anxiety and despondency in courtship and sexual situations. Such a patient is suffering primarily from depression and anxiety, and it can help treat these mood disorders.Alleviation of anxiety-depressive symptoms generally leads to normalization of self-confidence and self-esteem.
Problems with low sexual self-confidence and self-esteem as a rule, no one who is selfish and who does not care to meet the other side, only to achieve sexual intercourse.

Misconceptions about bullies

"People like myself, do not try to hurt other people," says talk show queen Oprah Winfrey. Must not have heard of Hitler, Stalin, Mao Zedong, Milosevic - mass murderers with very high self-esteem and self-respect. Never heard of children who spend violence against peers. Tim bewildering kids certainly missing a lot of things, but not confident.

One of the traditional misconception is that bullies because they have such low self-esteem and self-respect. Studies in which the same individuals are followed for a long time showing something else entirely. For example, a study conducted by psychologist Roy F. Baumeister led to the following conclusions:

lowered self-confidence and self-esteem are risk factors for crime, violence (including domestic), drug use, drinking, poor school performance or racist
lowered self-esteem and self-confidence are factors of risk for suicide, depression, eating disorders and suffering violence.
"Bullies behave violently because they have not unrealistically high self-confidence and self-esteem. Many violent criminals are described as superior, special, elite persons who deserve preferential treatment," says Ulla Lovenkrands, a Danish psychologist who 20 years exploring the psychology of crime.

"The members of street gangs have a high opinion of yourself and ask others to respect them. Bullies to school playgrounds are considered superior welding environment. Low self-esteem and self-confidence among the victims found the perpetrator, and not among the perpetrators."

High confidence and self-esteem was found, for example, in successful urban gangsters, who generally feel very good about yourself. No wonder, considering the fact that they have succeeded in acquiring wealth in a hostile and competitive environment.
People with a high sensitivity to the needs of others are less confident, because the road to success must take into account many factors, such as other people's needs, that poor people do not have to deal with.

- Self-confidence and self-esteem can be increased will power.
- The most impact on confidence and self-esteem have parents or educators, suffered violence and genetic factors.
- Faking confidence can fool only rarely and briefly, because the hormones of fear surrounding smells, the molecules in the form of pheromones affect the central nervous system.
- Other people's scorn, contempt and refusal to favor the emergence of depression and anxiety, and then lowered self-esteem and self-respect.
- A person with a strong nervous system and high mood are more likely to have unrealistically high self-confidence and self-esteem.
- An individual with a weakened nervous system and lowered mood is likely to have unrealistically low confidence and self-esteem.
- The company is not convenient for anyone to have confidence greater than innate ability. 

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