Monday, January 7, 2013

When you overcome anger ...

When you overcome anger focus on bodily sensations, come and take a walk. If you help, you play your favorite music, a little exercise and count to ten 

No one is immune to anger, but some express it, storming as Gargamel, and some dureći like a hothead. However, unlike cartoon characters, people can change behavior. The feeling of anger is neither good nor bad. It is perfectly normal and healthy to feel anger towards you if someone was rude or unfair. The question is how will you cope with this feeling. Anger becomes a problem if it harms you or your environment. If they snap easily, you might think that it is impossible to change.

You can learn how to express their feelings without hurting another. When you do this, not only will you feel better, but will also help meet your goals, build better relationships with people and live a healthier and fuller. It is important to understand that anger is not only caused by someone else's actions, but also the way you think about them.

Among the negative thought patterns that lead to anger is a generalization (never listen to me, no one does not respect me), a rigid stance on how others should behave and "mind-reading", ie assuming that "know" what someone is thinking and feeling and idea that you deliberately upset. Are prone to anger, and those who have a habit of blaming others for everything they go wrong in life, and those who hold a grudge.
And the body is seen to have become angry and

The nodes in the stomach, clenching fists or jaw, shortness of breath, headache, a strong need to move, the tension in the shoulders and physically beating heart attack signs of anger.
We become angry because we see ourselves in others

People can easily get angry when they are tired and exhausted. Often are not angry because of what they think, but for some reason they did not get in childhood or their own qualities that recognized in others.
False result

Some people react suddenly and violently because they think it brings results, so no harm to themselves and others
Bake and say

If a man gets angry, you calm down, think about the situation and come up with a reasonable answer.If necessary, uvježbajte "speech" before a mirror
Could be better

People who suddenly plan or suppress feelings should work on their communication skills, but they also used directly
Calm down hastily

When you overcome anger, focus on bodily sensations - heart palpitations, rush of blood to the face and so on. This will relax listening to your favorite music, enjoying the scent of flowers or imagining yourself in someone beautiful place.
Count to ten in order to give time to his reasonable part of mind to catch up with emotion. If necessary, re-count.
Stretch - if your shoulders are tense, circle them or ask someone to gently massage your neck and head.
If you can, get out and take a walk around the building quickly. So you get rid of the accumulated energy and clear my head.

Test - What would you do in this situation?

After a heated argument with his wife in tears, you called my sister and her izjadali. She gives good advice and promises to not tell anyone what happened. A week later, over lunch with the family, a brother asks you that you have to reconcile with his wife. Since you did not trust anyone else, it is obvious that the nurse outwitted your trust. What do you do?

a) rises from the table, calling her sister in the kitchen and scold you what issued until it is on the verge of tears.

b) spend the rest of the evening in silence, with a cramp in the stomach, and the whole weekend thinking about it. Do not say anything sister, but she decided she'll never trust.

c) grit your teeth and do not look into the eyes of his sister. When you asked what had happened, saying that everything is fine, but avoid her calls for several weeks.

d) Do not rush but the next day you call your sister for coffee. Tell her how hurt you is what you is issued and it will take time to re-earn your trust.


a) Reactive Gargamel

Respond immediately, shouting or slamming doors. While this brings momentary relief, people would stop to appreciate or perceive you as an abuser. Maybe later you feel guilty because you have violated or who is unjustly accused of it. Research also shows that the reaction was strain on the heart and increases the risk of cardiovascular disease.

What to do: Try not to explode but think about your feelings. It is not a sign of weakness but of power and self-control. If you feel your heart beating faster and you want to yell, ten deep breaths "from the belly". So you get more oxygen and calm down. Speak only when your pulse is normalized and can think rationally. To some people it takes 10 minutes, and some clock. Express your feelings without offending. For a long term solution try relaxation techniques like yoga.

b) Passive-aggressive Mrgud

Most people at least occasionally reacts. But such behavior (indirect attacks, sabotage, gossip or offended silence) people can easily recognize, and this leads to conflicts that have tried to avoid.Passive-aggressive people are thinking a lot about how they harmed someone and it makes me feel bad.

What to do: You probably feel that you are not entitled to strong emotions. The first step is admitting that you have been upset. If you find it difficult to express emotions in front of a mirror, practice what you want to say. Interview start by highlighting a common goal (preserving relationships, reconciliation, better atmosphere), and then say what you feel.

c) Azriel Izbjegavatelj

Behaving as if nothing has happened, you can actually get sick, experts say. You will feel weak and incompetent, and that can cause depression and anxiety. Studies show that suppression of anger causes problems with the heart and digestion, as well as an explosive reaction. The suppression of anger causes stress hormones to surge on the body.

What to do: it hard to recognize when you are angry, so if you notice that you avoid or who claim to be "stressed," that you think is doing it said. People tend to avoid conflict because they fear whether expressing emotions ruin a relationship and what others will think of them. But this fear is often unfounded. Therefore exercise. Try at least once every day to be open, honest and untie. In time it will become increasingly easier.

d) Direct Papa Smurf

It's not hard to admit that you're angry, but choosing words and devise a rational and constructive answer before you open your mouth. Keep it up, it's the best way to resolve the conflict. So you show respect to others, but will not let you trample.

What to do: And you have room for improvement. Each situation requires a response. For example, if you sister huffy, such talk can turn into a long-lasting conflict. Perhaps it would be best to accept that outwitted your trust and move on. And practice their communication skills. Maybe he is doing well in most situations, but with some people over-react or premlako. Consider that you then passive-aggressive or izbjegavatelj and adjust their behavior. 

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