Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Your New Year's resolutions

NLP trainer Jelena Vrsaljko brings valuable tips that will help you keep New Year's resolutions not just on paper. 

Arrival of a new year is a great time to make new decisions. New Year. Like, it's been one period and the beginning of a new, better, more prosperous, with lots of new opportunities. New decisions are made in a variety of ways. A large number of people really put a lot of effort. Paper, flomići in a variety of colors, beautiful notebooks that serve only to enter new decisions, soft music playing in the background ...

Unfortunately often remain just that. Really nice my friend's notebook adorned her bookshelf, and she and the end of another year is not achieved its goals. That it is not so and that the decision not to remain only on paper started to write this article.

Here's what he says about setting goals NLP:

Set your goals positively

To live your life the way you want it is necessary to know what you want.

For example if you say "I do not want to be insecure / herself in" all the time you think about your insecurity, which will be reflected in your behavior. Why is this so? The answer is that your unconscious does not process the negatives.

Here is an example: Do not think the big birthday, chocolate cake with candles. Do not think about her, the way decorated with whipped cream. Do you think maybe the cake? To stop thinking about her, you have to think about something else. You can not stop thinking about the cake so you have decided, "I think the cake (or cakes)."

When I put the goal to quit smoking I had a hard time with this first condition. If I put it in the form of "I want to quit smoking" would not be good for the simple reason that I would then be motivated from the cigarette and the whole time I just thought about them. So I connived to set that goal in a positive form. Finally I figured out some possible positive goals, and I used them all for their cause.

"I want to live a healthy life," "I want to have healthy lungs," "I want to smell", "I want to have a spicy home" and "I want to have white teeth."

It worked. Well, not just that I have very white teeth, but I do not smoke.

Be as specific as possible

Ask yourself: When, Where, Who, How will you accomplish the goal? In what situations do you want? Are there situations where you do not want? Imagine yourself in a situation where you have achieved the goal, visualize the situation, imagine a full environment with all the colors and sounds, imagine yourself with all the feelings that you have to achieve their goals ... So your idea will be the target clearer and more complete, the brain will notice opportunities to achieve it. The process of intense empathy in a situation to the goal of the brain called the formatting to an end. You will have a full representation of what you want to accomplish and thus facilitate the unconscious part of the mind that seeks to achieve its goal.

If someone says he wants to be a safer / herself and does not give a complete and well-defined information. What exactly does it mean to be safer / in yourself? How secure / s? A little or a little more? Compared to what? When you yourself or someone you set your goal to insist that what you want to say in the positive and not comparative or superlative. For those that have evaporated from the head grammar here is an example:

Positive - sure
Comparative - safer
Superlative - the safest

People often know, once you decide you want to say that they want to always and in all situations. If this happens to you while you set the goal for himself or someone else, take a moment and examine whether you really always and everywhere?

That the objective was clearly determined is necessary to determine the date by which you will achieve your goal. This method does not allow the target distribution but all the while you focus on achieving goals. Some goals are so indefinitely in order to achieve them could spend a year. If you want to be "confident" you can work on it for years and over time lose the energy with which you began to reach a goal, but if you limit yourself to some time limits, as if you compress the will, desire and energy and your unconscious mind will not erase opportunities to an end, but it will be a chance that the focus of interest.

Please note that the evidence of achievement

In situations when you accomplish the goal may be that simply ignoring the achievement. This happens because you may not have set up a proof of accomplishment. Ask yourself how you will know that you have made the goal. What you see, hear or feel when you achieve the goal? Describe it in detail how to recognize it when it occurs.

From the above it can be concluded that it is essential to achieve the proof we do know that we have achieved the goal, and then you let the pleasure in that regard. Many people when they reach a certain goal now moving to the second, and the third, giving you time to enjoy.

Allow yourself to enjoy when you achieve the goal, nothing is paid, and it's very comfortable.

Be cause of the

"Being in the cause" means that the aim must be initiated and maintained by yourself, and not to its achievement depends on someone else.

Here are a few examples of how and when people are not the cause:

I want to build a house! I will build it as soon as my husband finds a better paying job.
Disappointment is greater when the husband does not try harder to find a better paying job.

I want to buy a new car! I'll buy it if my dad that money for it.
What if your dad changes his mind?

I want my marriage works great! Work as soon as my husband understand some things.
Hm ... what if her husband does not understand, or maybe understand, but in their own way?

I want to go three times a week to aerobics! I'll go if my mom wants to do during the kids.
And what will happen if the mother does not want?

I want my son to enroll in medicine! Only then will I be happy.
Oh dear, this is the goal to which a person in her own cause. What if the son does not want to enter medicine because he passionately interested in history?

I want to get a job! I'm going to hire relatives as soon as we find a job.
Maybe relatives not in the mood to look for work.

If you set a goal to depend on others, and others do not act exactly the way you want, you'll find yourself at a dead end and you may be disappointed because you did not achieve the goal. Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to the achievement of your goal depends only on you.

Make sure the goal is worth the ekologičan

Ecology is the study of the consequences. The realization of a goal brings with it some consequences can be positive and not so positive. When setting goals it is important to consider the consequences for you and your relationships.

Ask yourself how your changes and everything you do to achieve the goal:
affect your life?
affect the lives of people around you (while of course I mean the people close to, but not the neighbors who do not salute the stairwell)

To read more about the goals of NLP free peek into the book "NLP introduction to personal growth and development." 

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